Sibling Squabbles

I’m here today to ask all the Mamas out there how they handle sibling arguments. My guys are still little and, while I know that all siblings fight sometimes, I want to set the ground rules for fighting fair. I know that for a child, your family is a microcosm for the entire world and that the skills and values we instill now are going to carry them for the rest of their lives.

SOOO many people have told me the boys are just being little boys and are going to fight and that I just have to accept it. I do accept that arguments between the two of them are going to happen but I want to know 1) how to teach them to properly deal with conflict and 2) when do I step in?

 One day I asked Kevin’s older brother when the fights between the two of them died down. His response: “We continue to fight to this day.” A couple weeks later I was talking to one of Kevin’s cousins who is close in age to his own brother the same question. He told me “Well, I just saw my brother last week soooo…maybe a week ago?”. These answers aren’t giving me much hope, lol.

Our kids’ arguments are never too serious; someone takes a toy the other was playing with, someone is cranky and starts saying random things to annoy the other (i.e. telling them repeatedly that their toy is green when its actually blue, telling them that we are going to Target instead after I promised them a trip to Grammy’s house). But I supposed that it is serious to them and they get upset and feelings are hurt. Also, it upsets me when I see them being unkind to each other. For the most part, the two have an incredible and loving bond. But when they decide to start squabbling…ughh!

I know that I should let them work out their issues and develop strategies for conflict resolution but I also want my kids to get along and I want to foster a loving relationship between the two of them.

So lay it on me moms. What’s your best advice for sibling squabbles when your kids are little? When do you step in and what do you say?

6 Comments

  • Reply Andrea Nine June 21, 2017 at 6:52 am

    OH my, this is a rough one and I can remember those days. I can tell you, mine fought less the older they got. One of the things we did was we each had one on one outings with them where we would explain what we loved about them and what we loved about their brothers and why it was important to be nice to their brothers. On these outings we’d do their favorite things and they felt special so we explained why they were all special and should have each other’s backs. It did help some but I am here to tell you it WILL get better!! Taking away their favorite toys til they would be “Nice” helped too. Love ya girl, hang in there!!

  • Reply Holly Breton at Pink Lady June 21, 2017 at 6:56 am

    I love the picture of them reading together. Although I have two girls, they can get into the squabbles too. We usually will remove one of them from that particular room until they both cool off and when it has been enough time, we will let them play together again. We are hoping to teach them to take a break, cool down, walk away and then regroup- who knows- we are in “survival mode” and just doing the beset we can. We are all in the same boat Tara!

  • Reply chelsea jacobs June 21, 2017 at 11:35 am

    I only have one so I have no advice, but growing up with my little brother, my parents usually MADE us work it out amongst ourselves, so kind of the best of both worlds? They didn’t get too involved, but they also put an end to the arguing and shut us in a room together until we figured it out.

  • Reply Allie @ agalnamedal.com June 21, 2017 at 11:04 pm

    The parenting book I’m reading suggests saying, “I hear arguing.” The kids know that you’re listening and they try to resolve the issue on their own so they don’t have to have mom or dad step in.

  • Reply Lisa June 22, 2017 at 1:39 pm

    Well I have one of each. You do want them to know how to resolve, but you also usually have to intervene. Mine just bickered over stupid stuff too and the older (boy) wasn’t very tolerant of his little sister. I’ve seen two different things that I wish I’d know about when mine were little. One was called the “Get along shirt” where you take a BIG t-shirt and make them get in it together until they can get along. The other is the same basic idea but without the shirt. Just make them hug or hold hands (kind of like a punishment😂) until they can get along. I’d say you can probably make your point pretty quickly and then just the threat of one of these action might whip them into being nice. Good luck Tara!!! This too shall pass. Mine are now good friends❤️

  • Reply Amanda June 23, 2017 at 8:46 am

    I do intervene. When my kids are arguing I stay away and let them hash it out. This works best in our household. They know mom isn’t playing when she says, “Work it out on your own” All kids fight and they get over it. DO NOT helicopter.

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