When I first started thinking about this post I thought of all of the reasons, and there are MANY, that I could gush on Kevin. He is hardworking both at work and at home. He never shies from a project no matter how large. He is always learning new skills. He puts up with all of my crazy ideas as long as it does not involve painting anything. He puts his family first, always. He is forever thinking about how to ease my burdens or take things off my plate. HE CLEANS!
BUT, while having an amazing partner is pretty essential in a strong marriage, it is not the only thing. Being able to recognize what your partner needs and working to fulfill that need is key.
Kevin and I have been married almost 9 years and I honestly think that our marriage is stronger than it has ever been. It wasn’t always that way. There are times, especially when the boys were babies that marriage felt like a competition, except there was never a winner. “I am more tired than you, so stop complaining.””I’ve done more around the house than you, it’s unfair.” We learned that yes, it’s not fair. Sometimes one partner will have to give more. And then it will switch. and then it will switch again.
Here are a few things that keep our marriage going.
- We have never fought about money. Ever.
- We trust each other fully with money. If you bought something/spent something/whatever, I trust that you needed it. Even when we didn’t have two pennies to rub together, we trusted that the other person always had the family’s best interests in mind.
- We take things off each others to do lists.
- Kevin takes the trash out. That’s his job. But if I am free I go around and empty the cans around the house. If I am running late, he starts dinner.
- Do something for the other, even if you are tired.
- By the end of the night we are both crashing in bed. We’re exhausted. But if I say I’m thirsty, I know my husband would run downstairs to get me a drink and I’d do the same for him.
- Plan fun things.
- I am the planner in this relationship, that’s for sure. Knowing how much Kevin works, I always make sure to squeeze some fun. I would hate to see him work all week just to come home and work on home projects all weekend. Side story: A priest once asked Kevin one of his favorite things about me when we were engaged and he said “She plans my day for me.” REAL ROMANTIC, right?! He still hasn’t lived that one down.
- Make time count. But if you can’t, let your words count.
- Mornings and evenings we are pretty much switching on and off between who is playing with the kiddies and who is doing the backdrop prep work (bills, meals, cleaning). After bedtime we try to unwind together and talk about our days. If we can’t we make sure to tell each other how much we love them. Even if it is in the morning, get your words out there.
Here are a few pics of me and my man over the years.
Babies. I think I was 20 here.
At a friend’s wedding.
First mini road trip to Baltimore.
1st Phillies game together.
Ocean City, Maryland
The big day!
Train ride through the Adirondacks
Hiking in ADK.
My cowboy at the rodeo.
Ha! I don’t know why he is in a wheelchair. I think this was after his cousin’s knee surgery.
1st Christmas tree as a family of 3.
Celebrating our 1st baby turning 1.
Family fun while dolphin watching.
Tennesee fun. Our poor boy split his chin while ice skating.